Homer Local News

Zombies are back?!

On Saturday night (when it was unusually stormy), reports of groaning and screaming could be heard on the commonly quiet streets of Homer, Michigan. One anonymous resident was terrified as she says: It was awful! It was about two AM when I woke up to the sound of groaning and marching. I looked out' my window and saw it. A long line of those zambambies just runnin' in the road! They could atleast respect the dang road! We have already had a minor outbreak like this before and an army of military soldiers came by to dispose of them. It has been reported that residents and onlookers have been calling the police, military and anyone they can attempt to contact. No one has been able to get through to any of the military officials or police chiefs.

"Nothing like this was ever supposed to happen again" - The National Department of Health And Safety. According to the department, the outbreak was contained in the small town of Homer, Michigan until a resident was at a local gas station without protective gear. We interviewed the cashier who was there on that fateful day, It was terrifying. She was buying a bag of flaming hot cheetos and started ranting to me about how she doesn't believe in zombies and how we shouldn't be wearing protective gear because it won't do anything. It was a little ironic as she began to turn into a zombie right in front of me. There seems to be a trend of residents having no belief in zombies and refusing to wear protective gear. We interviewed a local about this issue and here's what they had to say, The virus is fake! The zambamiez are being fabricated by the goverment to try 'an control our minds. Wearing those stupid masks won't do nothin' because you guys are just makin' up stories about people turnin' into zambies! We attempted to get more interviews from a few of the locals but most of them are either roaming zombies or self isolating in their homes.

In conclusion, the National Department of Health And Safety strongly advises you to stay in your homes and board up your windows. If anyone around you shows signs of the virus, immediately contact your local police.

This article has been promoted and approved by the National Department of Health And Safety

For more information, check out this interesting and totally real article about zombies here.

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zombie woman in bridal gown crawling shadow zombie hands coming out of the ground shadow zombie walking to the right

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